You Cannot Change Others — You Can Only Change Yourself
One of the most famous quotes in the world is:
“We cannot change anyone. We can only change ourselves.”
Almost everyone has heard it. But very few actually live by it.
Why We Struggle With This Truth
When someone hurts us, fails us, or frustrates us, the first reaction of the ego is:
– “If only they would change, I’d be happy.”
– “If only they stopped making mistakes, life would be peaceful.”
But waiting for others to change is like waiting for the weather to obey your command. It keeps us angry, disappointed, and powerless.
The Real Power
The only person you truly control is yourself.
– You cannot force others to be patient — but you can become patient.
– You cannot force others to speak kindly — but you can control your tongue.
– You cannot force others to respect you — but you can act in a way that earns respect.
And when you change yourself, often others begin to change naturally in response.
A Simple Starting Point
Instead of saying: “Why don’t they change?”
Ask yourself: “What can I change in my reaction, my words, or my habits right now?”
– Change your reaction — stay calm in the storm.
– Change your words — speak less in anger.
– Change your habits — build one good action daily.
Closing Thought
The bad self always tells us the problem is outside. The good self whispers: “Look within.”
Peace, happiness, and success do not come from changing others. They come when we master the one person we were created to control — ourselves.
Guidelines for the Struggling 2% (Expanded)
- Hold your words in anger.
Never correct in the heat of the moment. Wait until the storm passes.
- Be present in bad times.
People need you most in their weak moments, not just in their success.
- Listen more, speak less.
Listening builds trust, silence prevents regret.
- Tolerate people. Give them space.
Do not suffocate others with constant correction. Space allows growth.
- Choose humility over ego.
Saying ‘I may be wrong’ keeps the heart open to learning.
- Be gentle with yourself.
Forgive your mistakes, but don’t repeat them. Small steps are stronger than empty promises.
- Serve others quietly.
Use your strength or talent to help someone weaker. Service heals the soul.
- Stay connected to God.
When human guidance feels heavy, prayer and reflection lighten the burden.
- Remember the 5% Rule.
Life is 5% what happens, 95% how you react. Choose patience, not anger.
- Control your tongue.
Words can heal or destroy. Think before you speak.
- Do one good habit daily.
Even if small, repeating one good act builds a new self.
- Avoid comparing yourself.
Every soul has its own journey. Focus on progress, not competition.
- Pause before decisions.
Impulsive choices feed the bad self. A short pause invites wisdom.